The Astral Plane

Life is geometry. Every aspect of our Self is quantified and measured, minute differences are corrected upon currents of ineffable mystery and in strange, unpredictable movements of possibility that shape us, but do not truly make us. The real us is on some different plane altogether, watching the shifting scale, marveling.
Yet every chemical imbalance skews the scale and every change in vibrational structure breeds chaos, taking us further from the one who watches.
The mind's geometry thrives on balance. But rarely is such a balance reached and maintaining it is no easy task.
Geometrical patters of intrinsic value and endless possibility reach and surge through us daily, reorganizing, remeasuring, recombining and re-establishing, crashing, ebbing and flowing, annihilating upon each other.
Destroyed patters of the within show in every aspect of the without. Inner alchemy transforms the outer shell of our existence and crashes our minds against interior walls that feel insurmountable. But no geometry exists in infinity where all is but possibility, so all walls can be scaled and passed through, circumvented or tunneled through, yet no such scaling is needed and to escape the entrapment of geometry one simply has to stop identifying with it. A thing harder for some than others.
Yet the knowledge is hidden -- the secret that everything is already there, ready to be presented and taken as the mind wills. The trick then, is to recognize what shapes and moulds your own geometrical patterns, and to allow it. A difficult thing to master.
But time is short and to ourselves, at one point or another, we had all seemed the type who will never die, a ridiculous notion, and sometimes the inevitability of our demise is what propels us faster, as though self-knowledge is a race. Instead of racing, realize that enlightenment is a moment happening through every pulse of the Now and that it surges through the Now – realize it is happening and bask in it.

[Sometimes my thoughts are laid bare and stopping them is difficult, but to stop them is not my desire, so, as always, read and interpret as you wish.]

[pictures by Emma McNally]

Desire not to Desire

All human activity is ruled by desire. Every action is performed because of desire, and every wish-fulfillment activity made because of desire.

We can name the specific desires, of which there seem to be six main ones, each tied to the other with no end of one and no start of the other, but all of them depending on each other and fueling one another.

These are:






But that's five, right? What's the sixth?

Continuation is the most basic and ties directly to our will to live and continue our existence. We shape our lives around the constant desire to continue our existence.

To continue our existence, the desire to possess things and hoard them within and around ourselves arises. Ideas, concepts, food, drink, partners.

To attract partners especially, and to incite what we call love, we employ vanity, which is a way of acting that involves and makes us go, in whatever way, “look at me.” Our actions towards our partners are always in some way cantered around what we get out of this relationship. Love arises as a result of knowing our actions can lead to benefits for ourselves. When this is no longer present in some way that seems meaningful to us, love no longer arises. To this you may say that there are people that love boundlessly and get nothing in return. They do, they get the sensation of love, contentment, or feeling better about themselves etc.

Competition arises out of every human endeavor, a desire for being a step higher, morally superior, physically more capable, better lover, bigger bank account. All of these stem from the desire to be better and create competition and rivalry.

The last one is the desire for influence. All of us, on some level, either directly, philosophically or metaphysically, know our mind is shaped by other minds. And above all, consciously or unconsciously, we too begin to desire to have influence over other minds.

But there is one desire which precedes all desires and makes them possible in the first place.

It is the desire not to desire.

All of our mental and physical activity is cantered not around the five basic desires, but on the sixth desire, which is our desire to be free of desire.

Very early in our lives we figure out that no matter how many things we get, how much stuff and possession we buy, how much food we eat, how many women or men we get, how many minds we influence, or how much better we are at something than someone else, the same desire for all of these always remains. On some level we all figure this out very quickly, that these desires seem infinite. We are glad, for a time, that we have gotten the object of our desire, but never manage to figure out what we would have to get for that desire to cease.

Because the object of our desire is in the forefront of our mind, we are constantly fooled by the object, negating the subject and the psychological process of attainment of desire.

We fail to see that the contentment and peace we experience upon getting the object or subject of our desire came from being free of desire. This lasts for however long the previous desire is not replaced by a new one, and our desire to be free of desire begins again.

How to Find Yourself

You can't.

Moment by moment you are creating the idea of Self.

Ever-changing, transient and inconstant.

You always elude yourself when you try and look.

Behind the horizon, just over the hill.

Instead of looking, realize you are creating the hill.

Pursuit of Happiness

A human being never acts, he only reacts.

And our reactions have led to a state where humanity has become obsessed with positive emotions. In most cases, we want to shield ourselves and deny all emotions which we perceive as negative. To be happy is what we consider the highest goal: to be completely positive. We fear experiencing any negative emotions and experiences, as these ultimately, if they are perceived and self-determined as being constant and neverending, want us to leave this body full of suffering.

All human beings experience what they experience because of mind. Without mind there is no experience. If they believe that they have seen a certain aspect of experience which is the domain of the soul, this is only more mind.

You wish to understand what happens when you die. And you would like to believe that some know, you don’t personally, but hope that others might. You may have had experiences that made you question the event of death, but you still do not know because you are still alive. 

All experiences which describe what happens after the death of the body and what happens to the soul come from living minds. Living minds subject to the same emotions to which they have always been subject to.

Anyone can reach a realization of knowing, that is to say feeling, that they are not a body, but a soul. Because you train to feel that.

Because we do not equate spirit with matter and vice versa, and because of our duality in this, we believe that this training and practice to become enlightened is a spiritual exercise. Something which also goes on beyond mind. And yet all you are doing is training matter to respond a certain way, training spirit to do things a certain way, to view things a certain way and to feel a certain way.

You are training yourself to be enlightened. You are training yourself not to equate yourself as this body, but as an immaterial being beyond this body.

A bodybuilder trains his body to become completely honed, and has self-realized the body to be as he has fashioned it. The same has been done by the guru, master, yogi. The very same process of training, where the guru not only has to train a certain way, but also think and act and eat a certain way.

Anyone who has ever met a bodybuilder, or anyone that is on what he thinks is a path to enlightenment, knows that a person such as this does a certain amount of training, but also thinks a certain way, acts a certain way, projects a look that is emulating a certain ideal and to an extent perceives and feels things a certain way. The enlightenment-seeker, just like the bodybuilder, has an idea in their mind of what a certain type of person looks like and acts like, then tries to imitate. Some have it easier than others, in bodybuilding and in the path.

This is because some grasp a certain truth more deeply than others. That the body and mind are one and the same thing and completely connected and inseparable, and know, on whatever level, that spirit is matter and matter is spirit.

Here I am not talking about spirit as any kind of non-material entity over which the body is superimposed. I mean spirit as that which all things possess, a thing we cannot truly define because all definitions move away from it, and yet we all feel it within us, and in things that we perceive as living. We know it is in there when we look at a tree, and we question what it is in moments of depersonalization. Moments when we look in the mirror and feel as though that which is looking is not that which we see.

Not only does matter change and alter to our increasingly repeated mental states or muscle movements, so our spirit changes. In this instance, again, I am forced to change what I mean by spirit. In this instance, I do not mean a certain unseen aspect of us, but our spirit with which we do things, that which is not seen directly by others, but is perceived.

Just as it is good for us to never forget that these gurus and yogis and masters are human, we must also realize that words such as spirit and matter are man-made. They describe states of the same thing. They describe states of a spectrum just as white and black describe different states of a spectrum, but both belong to what we named color. They describe states of energy, but only states, while both of these things remain energy.

So why would a person that is enlightened lie about knowing what happens to us when we die?

They are not enlightened. And they are not lying.

They have trained themselves to believe in what was once an idea. They are subject to the same fears, vanity, desires, even though they have trained themselves not to equate the momentary state of fear, for instance, to an actual state of self. 

The human body and mind is amazing. We constantly put it aside and fool ourselves that the psyche is not capable of incredible self-deception and self-training. Or at least think that we ourselves are wise or smart enough to notice it as it happens.

We think that training the mind to act a certain way and be a certain way may not bring genuine results, only imitations. Then act further on this assumption as if everything we do isn't already an imitation. 
When you look at any spiritual discipline you will see the very same thing in every spiritual practice, and that is that it is a manual in training the mind/body to perceive in a certain manner, to act in a certain manner and respond in a certain manner. Usually this stems towards positive alignment. Why would a great guru deny himself all possible experiences and solely focus on experiencing the positive, or to try and train his mind not to label anything as positive or negative, but simply as states? Because all acts, no matter how selfless they may seem, are fueled by desire.

Humans and all activities of a human are led by desire precisely because they are human. The guru is subject to vanity, fear, concealment, despair, depression, elation, tranquility, equanimity, bliss,… Just as you are and can be subject to emotion and lust for influence. Human beings have created the idea of god because they themselves wish to be it, they emulate that ideal. Not necessarily the wise man with a long white beard, but a transcendent entity to be asked for guidance. To think and believe that you are beyond any of these notions is precisely that notion hiding in its own denial.

The human nature is possibility, human nature is to put on masks, to play roles, to delight in roles. These roles can give pleasure and contentment to other beings, so gurus and teachers and masters choose to play these roles to help, selfishly. So that through their selfish acts to help themselves through helping others the act can be made selfless.

And yet a lot of minds stay on the same level as most bodybuilders, they train their minds and enlighten themselves, not realizing that this enlightenment which they have attained is still a role, and that it is not what they truly are either. This reaching of enlightenment often presents itself in the annihilation of the experiencer as separate from the experience and the destruction of the one who puts on the mask, yet in the process many become unaware that anything has been put on in its place.

And in our unknowing of our own nature, we tend to almost worship these human beings, because our psychology is still not connected to the very same thing that the guru has connected himself to. To that which plays the role, to our nature.

In our search and craving for positivity, we focus our energy around these beings and solely on their positive, which in our limited understanding of our nature means to emulate, to be neither truly positive or negative, but subservient, nice, kind. As if bowing to a being would allow us to feel what we perceive they feel, to be as calm as we perceive they are, not knowing the countless hours of training they underwent.

We think that through pacification of ourselves we will understand what they understood, without any training in feeling how they feel.

We think that showing not merely our respect, but subservience, we will become closer to god which we see in an enlightened man.

But this is to believe that you yourself need anything else but you yourself to reach enlightenment. Because when you reach enlightenment, who reaches it, your guru, your teacher, your master, or you? When you reach it, do you think you still call it enlightenment? What happens when you go deep enough to find a basic self with no ideas about what things are, how they work, what he is seeing, where is he or who is he? What happens when you find that when these ideas and memories of ideas are gone, there is absolutely nothing there but possibility? What is there, what is left for you to possibly enlighten?

The real training these minds undergo and the lesson every person must learn in the path to enlightenment is not how to be happy. Constant happiness is an impossible goal. Man himself is subject to constant impermanence. This applies to all of his experiences and states. There are no states and emotions which are not subject to impermanence.

The training, the practice, is not to get attached to a certain state, but to fully realize that it is impermanent and subject to change and alteration. So that when a state arises it is a state, instead of your whole being becoming that state.

Where the idea of enlightenment came from, the term Moksha, is only the first step towards becoming. But what it does and why it is named enlightenment is fundamental and can easily be decried in terms of western ideas from where this term came from.

Light is constantly passing through your neurons. We call it electrical energy, but let me try and explain why it is good for you to try and enlighten yourself and it what way you should.

What I am about to say is my claim alone, and the only basis I have for this claim is subjective experience. 

In quantum theory, we have theorized a certain thing called a black body. A black body is a cavity wherein perfect energetic equilibrium can be reached, meaning that the exact amount of energy that is being emitted from the surface of the black body is being absorbed by the black body.

I think the only reason we were able to theorize and think about this concept is because our brain, our neurons and in fact our bodies are black bodies.

Another basic concept of the black body is that the emission rate increases with temperature, but not indefinitely, because this emission is counteracted by absorption until the point of equilibrium.

It is crucial to point out that this black body emits and absorbs every energy of every possible frequency and direction.

Again, this is the same with what we understand as the process of thinking and feeling. Every possible frequency that can be absorbed through the senses is absorbed by mind, and emitted.

The wish for enlightenment creates a state where neurons will in their nets of knowledge absorb all possible frequencies that are provided by the senses.

And the realization of enlightenment in doing is the emission of every possible frequency and in every possible direction. Suddenly the outside world and the inner world reach a perfect equilibrium.

But is that not what you are doing right now? Is this not already your natural state?

But to enlighten these neurons, to begin the absorption is very interesting. Because neurons do not work like any other receptor of light. When light flows through them, they "glow" but always slowly dim. So a certain kind of thinking can make those pathways glow and the more you repeat this, the longer they will stay lit and the more those pathways will become the default state.
(this description is beyond rough, but uses the simplest terms possible)

Knowing this, why would you not like to be immersed in your situation? To feel it fully? 
You know you have these experiences, and you know they are normal, and yet a part of you wishes to reject them because of an idea of what an enlightened person is and about what kind of experiences you think he doesn't have. You wish to reject reality because of your ideas about reality.

If you seek to practice in order to gain anything, you might as well stop now, as you will be perpetually disappointed. Rather practice should be a way to gain insight into your own self and to an eventual realization that the Self itself is a temporal state.

To realize that what you call self and all of the emotions associated with it, all of the memories and states associated with it, are learned states brought on by doing, or practice of some kind. What you do and say, you are.  What you practice, you are.

The nature of the temporal illusion is in possibility. The possibility is there, it is you who must make the movement to actualize that possibility. Whatever it is.

Your original nature is not in these emotions, but in emptiness. In emptiness that is not empty as we understand it, but empty of separate existence. In so that, whatever you do will never be done independently. By this I do not necessarily mean that what you do will effect all beings. Rather that what you do with the body will not just happen in the body, and what you do with mind will not just happen in mind. They are not separate movements, and in the same way you are not a separate movement in the world.

The temporal illusion that is man is a learned process. What the Self is and what it is not is learned in exactly the same fashion as is what spectrum of light represents the word orange. Just the same as what shape represents the word chair.

The ground you walk upon may seem separate to you, but that separation is learned and is precisely there because of your belief in a Self, which implies Other.

And yet all of this is merely perception. Just as this text is. But what kind of perception do you want? Will you choose it, in other words are you interested in seeing it directly and for yourself, or will you let other minds tell you what reality is?

This obsession with the positive emotion of happiness is inherent in us since we were told that we must be happy instead of being taught how to find reasons to be happy. Because of this we are constantly searching for happiness instead of searching for a reason to be happy. Happiness cannot be willed, it has to come by itself as a result of direct action. As long as we think happiness will come from either just thinking, or just doing, without meaningful doing and meaningful thinking together, peace will remain elusive. It will remain elusive in our psyche as you either just think and never do, or just do and then after the doing is done find it empty of existential meaning. We will not see in that doing our reason as to why we are here but will begin to see it as distraction from meaning.

But what could be meaningful action?

We were taught to embrace individualism in its ultimate sense of there being an individual who must strive by himself for himself. Occasionally he may ask for help but not too much of it.

And we are thought certainty of self through affirmation of pre-existing beliefs, whether through our own beliefs or in most cases, through cultural beliefs. We ignore the real everyday uncertainty of the individual and because of the teaching of individualism think that our mind has to be made into something concrete and frigid. Then mistakenly equate frigidness as individuality and realness. While individuality in itself is always an imitation.

We forget that the most selfish action or what we could consider as bad action is redeemed and made selfless when it is done for the benefit of others. A sage always wants to make himself feel better. Just as any human. He has accepted that making others feel better by extension makes him feel better as well.

The sage has learned that, while emotions and thoughts can alter his state then and there, his self-deterministic nature and awareness can directly alter how he will react and look at these arising states. He knows and lives this knowledge, that there always remains – if not the will and strength or the physical ability to alter any given situation – the possibility to choose how he will perceive his own state produced by mind or situation, and that he alone can act in this regard.

To me there are always but two choices a human can ever make and only one is meaningful.

They both exist within the same mental concept of bad and good.

A good, meaningful choice is one that takes into account the notion of things being empty only of separate existence.

A bad choice is one that ignores the notion of things being empty only of separate existence.

Depression and Free Will

I got a question about my previous post and will answer it here.

It pertains a paragraph: "What you think, you are. Now. What you feel, you are. Now. But never forget that you can always be more and expand beyond the boundaries you have set for yourself. Not tomorrow, but now."

The question was: how can I expand beyond the boundaries, if I'm the one who set the boundaries and how can I do this now and have results now. Anything I do seems to have no results, maybe much later after I repeat a thing long enough, but that takes an enormous amount of energy on my part. So how can you say that I instantly (now) become not depressed, if this is clearly not the case in my own experience? What can I do to feel better now?

There is something most people find hard to accept and wish for something deeper to be true. 

A human is many things, but is also a what we named a biological machine.

The brain is a biological machine. It runs on its own programming. Its nature is to build programs through pattern. And just like any programming language, one of the most fundamental ways of building any program is the command IF.

IF this happens, then THIS.
IF that happens, then THIS.

The brain wants to build programs which will run smoothly.

The brain does not care if it creates what you consider a bad or a good emotion. If it works, it has done its job.

The way the brain builds strong programs is by repetition.

The more you repeat a program, the more those programs and patterns become self-repeating. Mind-patterns become stronger through self-affirmation.

This allows us to walk without having to think about every step. Allows us to breathe without thinking about breathing, etc.

Soon every pattern becomes so strong it repeats itself along with the body's pulse as the two co-create each other.

This happens with all our thinking. 

Meaning the more we think a certain way and do things a certain way the more our way of thinking and doing becomes the default way. We think an emotion or a thought can come by itself without our conscious input in the direction of that thought, either in our doing or thinking. We believe sometimes we don't have to think about something or do something to produce a specific emotion. This is never true.

We may think because of this auto-repeat of thoughts, we don't have any free will. This kind of thinking is especially difficult to transcend for people with severe anxiety, depression, etc. In these cases most of all, every waking hour is in some way spent on trying to deal with depression and anxiety. Either by doing or by thinking. What this does all the time is affirm that you do have depression, that you do have anxiety.

You may think you aren't doing any thinking about it and think you feel great, then suddenly a sadness comes out of nowhere.

The brain is a whole and not a place of isolated systems, so triggers are everywhere and in everything. So everything and anything can also be a trigger for you to wake up to this fact. You were depressed when you were eating soup at some point, so doing something as trivial as eating soup that smells the same as the one you were eating when you were depressed can trigger the same emotions, even though at the time the two seem uncorrelated in your conscious thinking. This becomes so accumulative that over time nothing seems to exist which does not depress you.

It may seem like you have no free will. Least of all to control your depression. No matter what you do or try, the same thing comes back. The same mental state, the same emotions, the same anxiety, etc.

You might say, "I'm trying to fix my depression and anxiety."

But there is a thought that precedes the one that says: "I don't want to be depressed." Or rather emerges simultaneously.

It is the thought, "I am depressed." Because to not want to be depressed you have to first think of yourself as depressed. You have to draw your identity from that mental state. If you were not depressed in the first place, there would be no need to be without depression.

So while you are searching for a way to help yourself, you are still operating on the basis of thinking that you are depressed.

As long as you draw your own identity and who you are from something fleeting and transient like a mental state and consider it to be a permanent state of your identity, you will stay in a depressed state. As long as you do the exact same things you have been doing up until that point, you will stay in the exact same state.

Psychiatrist may tell you this: "First you must accept that you are depressed, accept that whatever is happening to you is there inside you."

They think that accepting this as your identity then fighting it head on will help.

They think acceptance will solve everything.

But here is the trick. Accepting that you do not accept something is still acceptance. So what does acceptance do, really? It does nothing. It involves no doing, only the same mental action that lead you to this point at which you feel as though your identity is that you are depressed and that you cannot get out.

Your first instinct upon hearing this (accepting that you don't accept...) might be that it's nothing else but denying your own state as being real.

You might say, "But I feel depressed. I cannot possibly deny how I feel."

But this not denying of what you feel, but seeing that these feelings are not what you are fundamentally. I will explain what this means.

Everything you experience is the experience of Self. Without what you think of as Self, without the input of what you consider to be Other, and without the mind/body unity, no experience arises.

But just as mind is shaped by other minds, so too mind is shaped by mind. Depression cannot be altered by what made it. Mind. It was not made be the awareness of mind - by the thing that is aware that it is depressed - but by the systems of mind. So in a deeper sense you are the awareness of mind, the awareness that recognizes the states of mind, not the transient states of mind themselves.

For me it was difficult to accept that it's me and my mind who created depression.

Mind is possibility. What you see as you is completely malleable.

The problem is that this sculpturing can only be done by you.

The question contained this: "but that takes an enormous amount of energy."

It has taken an enormous amount of mental energy and repetitions of the same thinking and doing to get where you are now, it is, unfortunately, completely foolish on your part to think it will not take some energy to build a new system in your mind.

But more to the point of getting results now.

Whatever you do in this direction, you will be doing it now. When you think of something, you are doing it now, when you will begin to notice results from your mode of thinking, those results will not be there in the future, they will happen now.

You project the idea of getting results in the future, and so think that they happen in the future as well, but those results will only happen now. You never have any other choice but to start now. When results do happen, they will happen now.

I cannot tell you what exercise, or by doing what will help you to not be depressed. No one can. And anyone who has the gall to say they know what will help you in particular is full of shit. What helped them may not help you. Only you can help you. No one else can help you. They can advise, but it is you who must do the doing, now. All anyone else can do is support you while you help yourself.

They main problem with almost anyone and myself when it came to why I was depressed was thinking. Too much constant thinking. The mind gets used to constant thinking so it does nothing else but constantly and compulsively think. Start doing. Not do things that you think will help you stop thinking, just do. When you find yourself thinking while doing, decide to watch yourself doing what you are doing.

You know something that proves that psychiatrists cannot help you directly? They give you pills. Pills do exactly the opposite of helping. They keep postponing what needs to be done now to some future date. They are also not helping you by the very fact that, each time you take one, you are affirming in your mind that you need one and that you are depressed. All I and anyone else can ever say is what worked for us. Even for those whom pills helped, they did not stop being depressed whilst taking the pills. Just like depression itself, the pills created a mental state, and depression was gone only when they stopped taking the pills completely. The only thing pills may do, is show you that it is possible not to be depressed until you can realize it on your own. They can unfortunately also implant the idea this may not be possible without pills. Which runs the risk of creating even more depression. But realizing you can also not be depressed is something you can do by yourself, because even when you take a pill it is you who produces that state, without you the pill is merely an object.

What helped me was:

Meditation, A LOT of walking in the forest, LSD, Reggae, Dancing to music, Exercise, throughout the day doing exactly the opposite of what I had been doing up until that point, and if I was doing something which I did before, I made sure it was at drastically different time periods, writing and reading, and not eating animals.


To wake up to the perfect fullest of this moment wherein all life lives in its ultimate sense, you have to see into your own nature directly. Allow concepts to come into existence when you have to explain things, show things, or elaborate things. But do not live inside the boundaries of those concepts. Concepts and ideas is how mind understands, it is not how mind experiences. Concepts and ideas are not how the mind experiences, they are what the mind uses to interpret experience. If you equate concepts about reality as reality, you are building your own prison that will remain infinitely smaller than you are, as long as you see those concepts as reality and as concepts about reality.

Dwell in reality.
Spirit is a man-made concept.
Matter is a man-made concept.
The soul is a man-made concept.
Particles are a man-made concept.
Chakras are a man-made concept.
Dimensions are a man-made concept.
Kundalini is a man-made concept.
Your Identity is a man-made concept.
Ego is a man-made concept.
Philosophies are man-made concepts.
Consciousness is a man-made concept.
Reincarnation is a man-made concept.

There will be no other life for you where you will be as you are right now.
If you think you remember a past life, you are a fool with your head so far up your ass you can no longer smell your own farts.

Explore the above concepts, have fun with them, but do not confuse the map these concepts paint as being what you are. The map illustrates, but the illustration is a projection of what the map is trying to show, not the actual thing it is showing. The thing the map is showing doesn't need a map, but is seen directly.

What we named the intellect can only see and analyse the map. But it can also operate below your everyday conscious thinking.

What we named intuition can only sense the map. But it can also operate under your everyday conscious sensing.

To explain this reality, we must use the intellect. To sense this reality directly, we must use what we named insight.

Intuition is nothing special. It is a word used for the sensing and calculating mechanisms of the mind/body that happen unnoticed by our conscious activity. If all the information our senses collect every second would be directly noticed by us, most of us would probably go nuts. Intuition is not a spiritual happening. You have projected your own idea of spirituality upon what you believe intuition to be.

There is no such thing as spirituality.

Do you think you feel through your heart? That is not where emotion comes from, that is just where you feel it to be. 

Then why do I feel love as though originating in my chest?
We think we feel though our heart because we are disconnected with the essential reality of the body and mind being a whole system. We project this disconnect further and do not accept that the experience of emotion moves through the whole system, and not just through an isolated area of either mind or body.

Then why do some people feel phantom pain?
The mind remembers and replicates constantly. If the pain was once there, it can be there again even if the limb is not.

Your mind is amazing. Your body is amazing. We named them separately, but that doesn't mean they are separate entities or live separate realities.

The mind senses far more on the level of what we call subconscious than what your immediate (conscious) mind can process. We named this process intuition. Have you noticed we name things a lot? We then think, if we name it, it exists separately.

Nothing exists separately. Emptiness does not exist. Things are empty only of separate existence.

The Buddha never said, “What you think, you become.”

Becoming implies there being some other time than now in which you are becoming. Or some other time than now in which you will become.

What you think, you are. Now. What you feel, you are. Now. But never forget that you can always be more and expand beyond the boundaries you have set for yourself. Not tomorrow, but now. But why do you need to be more than what you already are? You may feel you need to be more than you are, yet the thing that needs will never be known to you, because you constantly make it up.

Do you feel the need to change? To expand? Have you considered that the very thing that wants change is exactly what is trying to change itself and can never do it? You say I will be different tomorrow.

Tomorrow never comes, it doesn't exist. It’s just dark outside and you go to sleep. But when you wake up it’s not tomorrow, it’s still now.

The Buddha said, “I will come back until all sentient beings are free.” or "I will not enter the gates of nirvana until all sentient beings are free."

And there you are, waiting for him to come in a form of another guru, another yogi, another teacher. You don't need any of them. You're lazy and want someone else to do things for you which only you yourself can do and realize.

All the while you are missing the point entirely. Missing the power of what those words mean. I will come back. We're not talking about The Terminator here. We're talking about Buddha. He was talking about you.

He will never again come back as The Buddha. There was only one The Buddha, Gautama Siddhartha. And yet still he will come back -- and has come back many many times before.

He will and has come back again and again. 

Each time a person wakes up to the reality of this moment, Buddha is there, within. It is not Gautama Siddhartha that comes back, it is what we named Buddha-Nature.

The Buddha doesn't personally free you, you free yourself by being a Buddha. He has not come back as a person and freed you, and he never will, he has done something much better. The same nature that awoke within Gautama Siddhartha has awoken inside you. That is Buddha-Nature.

The Meaning of Life

How many times have you asked yourself this?

To most, this question seems to have a different “flavor” as questions like, “What will I eat, what will I wear or what will I do with my life.”

It is what we might call a metaphysical question, which means its source comes from a deeper layer of reality within us. From an I center that is disconnected from things that are happening and is not seeing itself as that happening, and instead viewing this happening as something "happening to I".

A superficial question of “What will I eat?” can be immediately answered and solved with direct action, yet we think that a metaphysical question cannot be answered with action, but with intellectual thought.

If you ask me, “What is the meaning of life?” I cannot help but answer from a subjective standpoint. 
I will mentally search through my own experiences to give you an answer based on the events that led me to this point. This will take me away from where I am now and force me to perform a mental action.

But if I answer with another question and keep doing it, the answer to, "What is the meaning of life?" may become more apparent.

Let me show you what I mean.

If I answer: Who is it that wants to know?

You might say: Me.

If I ask again: Who is me?

You might say many things, but let’s suppose you answer with either of these four(or something else, it really doesn't matter):

I don't know.

I am all things that you see.

I am this body before you.

I am the immortal soul within this body.

All of these would be valid answers based on personal perception. Yet neither of them answer the initial question about the meaning of it all.

After you answer with any of the above, I can ask you that which may bring you closer to getting an answer.

I can ask, What were you before you were conceived?

After a bit of thinking, you may see that any event preceding the creation of you can be said to have equally contained you. That is to say the possibility of you.

Did you begin when you were conceived?

You could say yes.

Did you begin when your parents wanted a child?

Did you begin when your parents were children and had the potential to make you and carried this possibility inside them? You could answer yes to any of these. Yet at the same time, all of these events needed to have you as a possibility for you to become an eventual physical entity.

This means that in some form, you were present all along. Not in the thinking of all the people who contributed to what eventually became you, but in their doing. In their action.

In the same way, and in the same way as, What will I wear, is perfectly answered by doing, by wearing something, so too the question of what is the meaning of life can be perfectly answered by action.

A person who is doing, a person who is involved in action and doing things, will in the midst of that action rarely ask what is the meaning of this life. He will do and be absorbed in the doing. That doing will have its own meaning. In that doing the experiencer will not be separate from the experience of doing. The doing will be the meaning and the meaning will be  in doing.

In a similar way, you must realize that you should not ask what is the meaning of life and expect to get an answer, but rather realize that when you ask this question, it is you who is being asked.

The question in itself is great. It divides you into that which is asking and that which is being asked. You then project this duality to the answer itself. You make yourself believe that the answer is in something other than what you are doing right now.


Reality is a fluctuating canvass of undimensioned possibility.

Dimensions are applied within consciousness.

It has a continuous trajectory with indivisible transitions.

Validity of its perceived parts is contingent on the observer.

There is no sum.

The observer is the manifesting tool.

The observer is the manifested.

Why go Vegan

Every one of us lives our lives in a tunnel constructed by our personal philosophy. We perceive and think inside this tunnel, act and do things which we believe will help us stay inside the tunnel. The tunnel is safe. We already know what’s inside and we believe that at some point, we will reach the end of it and things will change. On most days we live under the illusion that this is the point of life, to reach the end of the tunnel. Most of the time we do not realize the tunnel exists.

The only thing which can alter the width of our perceptions and thinking, that is to say the width of the tunnel itself, is a shift in consciousness. At some point we have to wake up to the fact that we are indeed inside the tunnel, and that our modes of thinking are made to serve this illusion that our personal tunnel is the right one.

Because we live inside this tunnel every day, we walk around hypnotized by our minds. We stay trapped inside a narrow space which the mind has itself devised.

We rarely consider another point of view or empathize with another person unless their experience is similar to our own tunnel. For instance, if our mother has not died, we will say ‘sorry for your loss’, but will never truly understand the pain and what it is like to be inside that other tunnel.

We rarely consider another, conflicting point of view. Most of the time we desire only to see and hear a reflection of our existing philosophy about what is life and what it is not.

We connect with those who have similar tunnels, and usually reject those who do not. We look for ourselves in others.

But what happens when we turn this tunnel in on itself? What happens when the tunnel and the narrow views it projects upon the world are turned upon the tunnel itself?

For a while and for most, nothing happens. This was also true in my case. It took me more than 4 years for my first real awakening experience to occur. There are many facets of my Self which were subtly and less subtly influenced upon, but one thought became quite clear and suddenly illuminated.

I could no longer justify eating animals.

The hypocrisy of my own self appalled me to such a degree, that it produced a reaction of immense dissatisfaction in my own doing.

Since I was a kid I loved animals. There was never any one animal which I would dislike or didn’t find fascinating in some way. And yet, all of this love and care dissipated at lunch time. An animal became food, and over the years I often justified this behavior as something a superior species does. It dominates. It dominates things around it and bends it to its will for survival. At that age my mind never considered that, although I knew animals felt and wished to live, the meat on my plate was once an animal which too wished to live and had experiences.

Often I would hear the argument of, ‘pigs are ok dogs are not’. Meaning that a dog is not okay to eat because he is a companion, not food, and pigs are bred to be eaten.

But why make this comparison in the first place? It became clear to me that we think ourselves as a superior being. Instead I ask you this, why is it okay to eat a pig and not a human?

Think about it and consider the emotions it produces inside you when you read this question. Why is it not okay to eat a human? 
Why don’t you feel the same emotion and repulsion when you consider devouring the life of a pig as when you consider devouring a human? Why it is okay to eat its life? That is what happens. You do not just devour the meat, you devour its life, because first you have to kill and end that life. You know eating a person would be wrong because you see people acting and feeling every day. You see them living, and are disgusted not by the meat of a human.

This is a very important point to realize.

Everything you experience comes from Self. It cannot come from any other dimension. It doesn’t come from somewhere up above, it doesn’t come from left or right. Stimuli come from directions perhaps, but your experience of these stimuli come from an inner dimension that is You.

The disgust you feel is not at the prospect of human meat, but of the idea of You yourself eating that meat.

You feel and know in your gut that it is wrong. Not because human meat itself would be wrong, human meat by itself is after all just meat. Instead you see the ACT of eating that meat as revolting.

So why don’t we feel the same towards eating the flesh of animals?

The question to why ties into much the same process as early age indoctrination by religion. 
Any religion, when preached to a child at an early enough age, will incorporate itself into the tunnel of that child in some way. Because we often equate the tunnel of our perceptions as Us, that is to say we see the tunnel as Me and not as our Perceptions, we later and throughout life live under the illusion that such and such religion is not a part of our perception, but that it is Me.

In the same manner, we are systematically programmed every day by our parents and those around us every time they put meat on our plates and advertise it everywhere.

Each and every time you feed meat to your child, and each moment you put it on his plate to eat, you create their philosophy. You create their tunnel vision of animals being foodstuff. And so meat becomes only meat and not a dead animal. The meat ceases to be a being that was no less a part of this world than the human that is now eating it.

We may think we bred that animal to be eaten and therefore its purpose is to be consumed. And yet that is not its nature. The purpose of being consumed was determined by man. And yet purpose is not nature.

When looking at an animal, we know and can immediately perceive that there is something which animates it. Something which makes the animal experience the world around it in its own tunnel. Something which makes it respond with emotions and fears just as a human does. Something which we call life, yet do not really know what it is or how it works. We can measure it, we can sense it. And we call it life. But the world life does not explain what it is. And yet we sense that this thing, this life, is the animal’s nature. That it wants to live and be alive.  We are deeply connected to this knowledge, because we too are life. So even if an animal doesn’t realize itself with the complex mind of a human, it still wants to be itself. It wants to express its inner life by living.

Does this desire to live and be alive seem the same as the man given purpose it has received, which is to be eaten?

I think not. 

Yet still we consider ourselves superior to every animal. Because we can make cars, go to the Moon, or compose symphonies? We think ourselves superior and as the great inventors that progress the human race? Why should our nature be to progress ourselves only? If we are the only being on this world that can realize the whole world and know of our own existence within it, would it not make more sense that our intrinsic superiority is not that we can dominate other living beings, but co-exist with them? When was the last time you personally invented something or done something for the benefit of mankind? Did you ever? Or do you go to a job every day, never feel truly free, accept your condition as a state of the world and do it every day without question, thinking you have no choice?

Now look at a bird. Is it truly inferior to you because it doesn’t have a job, doesn’t have an education, has not seen as much of the world as perhaps you have or experienced the depth of emotion? Or is it better because such things never even enter its field of concern? From the moment it woke up and until the last breath it will make it will live here and now, acting out precisely its nature.

In my personal view, the nature of man is the ability to become the very possibility which he sees and thinks of. Man can make a possibility into an actuality. That is a part of what makes us special, that is a part of our nature. Not our superiority.

Our nature is to wear masks. We do it every day. But it is our nature itself which wears them, so the masks are not our nature.

And one of the most difficult masks to throw off is the mask of perceived superiority. Of being in some way better and thus entitled.

This applies to being entitled to meat. 

Let me try and illustrate how ridiculous this entitlement actually is. In our tribal periods, it was usually men who hunted. If you didn’t hunt and were a poor hunter, you didn’t get to eat the meat that was caught. Now meat grows on shelves in a store, according at least to our limited tunnel vision.

Why exactly are we entitled to that meat? Because we were born a human being? You personally did nothing to deserve that meat, it was showed into your face from an early age, just as it was into mine. You did not hunt nor kill the animal on that shelf.

You never hunted a thing in your life. Most of us will probably NEVER hunt a thing in our lives, perhaps we’ll fish. Shooting with a rifle from 500m isn't hunting. We are inept hunters. Whoever thinks this is not true should go try and set traps.

And yet because of our perceived superiority we think it's okay to do nothing and simply pick up meat from a shelf, not giving any thought as to the processes of suffering which needed to occur for that meat to materialize.

In our superiority complex we believe ourselves to be the ultimate hunter. That in itself should be a joke. Indeed, we are so superior over the rest of life on this planet that we create breeding grounds where we subjugate animals to suffering and fear only to feed ourselves, when the consumption of meat to sustain ourselves isn’t necessary for survival, especially in our current state of culture.

This was a realization which, for me, was very powerful. That I do not need meat to sustain myself. That no animal has to die for any of my meals and that no animal should suffer for me to live.

The first time I knew I do not wish to eat meat again I knew nothing about veganism. I stopped for my own selfish reasons.

Many thousands of years ago, the East discovered what we call science today. Only they called it yoga. In this yoga, they incorporated things which the science of the West is now discovering, for instance that breathing and the rate of it has an effect on emotions.

Breathing yoga became one of the main sciences of the East. One of the techniques in this science was called Pranayama. In this technique of breathing and its philosophy air contains prana, which is life force.

In our Western science we have constructed our own tunnel for this. For us this life force is a way of seeing air as a combination of different atoms and in turn molecules. In reality this doesn’t matter, since what happens when you breathe 'normal' air is the same if you call it prana or give it a molecular composition.

What is important, however, is that in Pranayama, they discovered stages of prana energy.

The first stage is to receive prana through breathing. This is considered the purest form a person can get prana.

The second stage is through eating plants. We know that plants contain mostly Carbohydrates, Protein and minerals. Since our bodies use carbohydrates as its main fuel, it makes sense that plants would be the next stage where humans receive life force.

The third stage is animal meat. Since animals themselves consume the first two stages of prana only, except of course meat-eating animals, they change these two stages of prana into a third stage, which they store in themselves FOR THEMSELVES. This stage is not meant to be eaten, as it contains the residue of conscious experiencing. What this means that animal protein and meat does not store only raw energy in form of minerals and nutrients or prana, but also the energetic state of the animal which it can experience through the help of the first two stages. In our Western mode of thinking, these energetic states are stored amino-acids and hormones which occur in bodies when under the influence of fear, dread, pain, sadness and all emotions which are produced by the suffering of a self-conscious being who has the capacity to experience pain and pleasure. So it is never only raw protein which is eaten, but all the imprints in the form of hormones and acids that these emotions leave within the nervous system and thus meat.

After discovering this and drawing parallels with my own knowledge about what food is, it became clear to me that eating animals today makes very little sense. It took some time for the childlike compassion to return. Not only towards animals which we view through our tunnel as being our pets, but especially towards those that we eat. Slowly meat was no longer what my parents thought me it was – food. But became the flesh of a being that did not want to be eaten. It became a part of a being that lives just as much in this world as I do.

To see anyone as superior or inferior is a matter of looking through a tunnel which you yourself have constructed. Rather, all beings are victims of their own tunnels. They are hypnotized by their minds. They do not know because they were never shown, or don’t want to be shown. They stay in their tunnel because of the fear of what might happen to them if that tunnel expands. To them their philosophy by which they live is not only a philosophy, and their tunnel is not just a tunnel, but rather this tunnel is what they perceive as Me. And losing that Me/Self is terrifying, and you know it is terrifying for them even if they do not want to admit it. You know especially then.

But it is not. It remains terrifying only when you consider it in relation to past events. It stays terrifying only as long as you live in the past and not as an expanding possibility.

This identity which we believe that we are is always constructed of past events. When you ask a person what he is doing, or what he's up to, they will always answer in terms of the past. They will say what they have done at work, what they have done during the day. But realize that just as the illusion of the tunnel and its lie is that there is an end to which you must get, the self as a static form is just as much a lie. Instead you are here, right now, and to expand your own tunnel is a choice you can make at any point.

Just as much as you fear to do that, just as much as that scares you, or just as much as you are wrecked with uncertainty about what comes after such an expansion, the animal on your plate felt exactly the same before it died.

And while the animal had the choice of being subjugated to these emotions taken from it, we do have the choice not to cause suffering, pain and ultimately death.